Shrekposting Cuz Another 8 Hour Shift
Shrekposting Cuz Another 8 Hour Shift
Blog Article
Man, this schlep really sucks. I'm so fried I could just curl up. All I wanna do is drink some juice and stare at the wall for days. But first, gotta post a few Lord Farquaad memes to cope with the struggle. Life is a real circus, man.
The corporate ladder is just a staircase to Shrek's swamp
Sure, they tell you it's all about drive, about ascending to the top and ruling your little kingdom. They paint a picture of luxury, but let me tell you, that shiny penthouse suite with its panoramic view? It's just another lonely tower in Shrek's swamp.
You'll be long hours, power lunches that go nowhere, and a never-ending parade of backstabbing coworkers. Your goals? They'll get swallowed up in the mire like another unfortunate tourist who wandered into this wretched swamp.
- And don't even get me started on the dress code. You think your power attire will impress anyone down here?
- Trust me, you'll be wishing for a good pair of mud boots
So next time climbing that ladder, pause and ask yourself: Is this really what I want? Or am I just trapped by the system, only to end up like every other lost soul in Shrek's swamp?
Heading: "Important Meeting" - My Soul: "Like an Onion, Shrek."
You know that feeling when your manager sends out an email with/about/regarding a meeting and the subject line just screams "urgency/importance/significance"? Yeah, well, my soul is currently experiencing something akin to a cinematic onion. Layered with anxiety/dread/a healthy dose of WTF, each layer reveals/hides/uncovers another questionable/confusing/intriguing detail about the meeting's purpose.
Is it a performance review? A team-building exercise/activity/nightmare? Or, perhaps, the unveiling of a revolutionary/disastrous/slightly off-brand new company initiative? Honestly, at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a meeting about how to best prepare for/survive/celebrate an alien invasion.
- I need coffee. Like, a metric ton of coffee.
- Let me just pretend to be busy with something else.
- Can I survive this meeting without losing my mind?
This Spreadsheet Could Be Done Faster With Superhuman Might
Look, this spreadsheet is a real pain. I'm drowning in data and formulas, my brain is fried, and the deadline is looming like a hungry goblin. It wouldn't take some serious muscle to get this thing done. I'm talking about the kind of power that only a titan possesses. This ain't a job for your average office worker, this is heavy lifting work.
- How about a squad of golems?
- This spreadsheet needs an atomic bomb
- I'm gonna need caffeine injections
Weekend? Nah, I'm Just Going Back to My Layer Cake of Papers
The idea of chilling out this weekend is just hilarious. My desk is currently a fortress of papers, each one demanding my focus. Honestly, I'm more thrilled about devouring this tower of assignments than I am about binging website some Netflix. Maybe a Saturday marathon of caffeine and sorting is more my speed.
Full Time Work Makes Me Feel Like a Donkey in a Corporate Stable
I'm trapped in this soul-crushing machine. Every day feels like I'm trundling along, just another horse in the factory. I'm exhausted from dragging this load day after day. I fantasize about breaking free.
- Maybe I'll become a farmer and actually actually get to spend time with creatures who are happy in their environment.
- {Or maybe I'll travel the world and finally find peace.
- {Whatever it is, I know I can't stay here forever.{ It's just not sustainable.